BON APPÉTIT.

In high school, when my mental health was at its worst, I had a really bad relationship with food. It didn’t help that I was already an incredibly fussy eater. Despite this being all about 5-6 years ago, my eating hasn’t really improved and now, it’s got to the point where I really think it’s about time I began improving on it. 

Over the years, I’ve sort of just given up. I’ve sort of just dealt with the fact that I would always find dining out with friends awkward as I could never eat where they would like to eat. My diet would consist of the bare minimum, and the thought of anything other than going to subway terrified the living day lights out of me. This meant that I got to the point where I would always carry a packed lunch with me just in case I ended up in a restaurant where I couldn’t eat. I would keep quiet about it to avoid having to reorganise and make everybody else find somewhere else, and would just get on with it. 

But I’ve had it now. I got into a right mess about it all, spoke to my mum, and it seemed to have done the trick of kicking me up the arse to sort something out. I don’t want to continue doing and so, I got over my food anxiety and I’ve been experimenting, woohoo! 

One morning, I took myself out of my flat (which was already a big deal for me) and went food shopping. I had researched a few recipes and food options that were vegetarian and proceeded to buy them. Obviously, after I bought all this food, I had this impending fear that I would not like any of it, and it would have all been a waste and I’ll be right back to square one. 

But guess what? SO FAR, I LIKED EVERYTHING!

I’ve been testing all of the available Quorn meals, as it allows me to get all the protein my body needs without me having to eat meat and I guess that’s what I’ve really been missing out on: protein. 

It has been over a week now and every single day, I have tried something new. It’s safe to say that I feel better in myself? Just being able to eat a different mood every night and actually being able to properly cook something, it’s been fulfilling. 

The other morning, though, was really a breakthrough moment for me. For breakfast, I just stick to the safe option of cereal for breakfast. You can’t go wrong. But my parents and I went out for breakfast, and instead of sticking with the safe option, I was brave. I ordered the vegetarian English breakfast. Now, this was scary for two reasons. One: I was yet to try vegetarian sausages, and the rest of the breakfast, too, was brand new to me. Two: there was a LOT. Food is still a scary thing for me to eat, especially with other people around me, and so when the plate arrived at my table, I had a little freak out. I started to wonder whether I was being too brave, and whether this would be my first failure. Oh, how I was wrong. I loved every single bite! 

It was incredible and it was silly but I was SO proud of myself. I had never had anything like it and it was such a personal achievement. 

So far, things have been going great and I hope that in the coming days, I will be able to experiment with some other foods and go on to like them. I want to expand my food options and finally be in that comfort zone of not having to worry about eating out and there not being an option for me!